Forgive yourself and others

 I have come to realize that by forgiving yourself for your short comings is what allows you to move forward in life.  When we beat ourselves instead of forgiving ourselves for our short comings we get stuck in life.  We are to learn, try again,  do better,  but it does nothing but hold ourselves back when we don't forgive ourselves.  God doesn't expect us to be perfect he just expects us to do the best that we can in this life.  In fact part of the plan was for us to fall short. That's why there had to be a savior.  So if this is what God expects then why do we expect ourselves to be perfect? Learn to forgive yourself and give the mercy that the savior gives us so willingly. 

Forgiving others when they have caused so much pain in our lives is honestly the hardest thing that we can ever do so why does the lord expect us to do so? Many times in life doing the right thing is the hardest thing we could ever do.  Why does the lord expect us to do hard things in this life? When I was 12 years old I was raped by a family friend who felt like a grandfather to me. To say that his act changed my life forever is an understatement. I felt like I could never move on with my life and it destroyed me for a time.  When I was 16 he had a heart attack right before being sentenced for his acts against many of his grandchildren. His wife at the time was sitting by herself in the hospital room because none of her children would come.  She was hurting just as much as the rest of us so my father decided he would go to sit with her and be there for her. This was before I came out about what he had done to me.  I decided to go with my father that night not to be there for him but for his wife who had done nothing wrong but who was dying inside and was completely alone.  That night I was able to forgive and move on with my own life because I had done something so hard.  In most cases I wouldn't recommend to go to see someone who would hurt you in such a way but for me it was the right thing.  I remember when I finally came out about what happened to me my father asked why I went with him that night and I told him because it's what the lord would have done.  Living my life the way the savior would is something I have always strived to do. When this becomes our way to live we learn to forgive. We learn how to love,  we learn how to have compassion on the pain others go through in this life.  We learn how the savior feels about us. We learn how to strive for excellence within ourselves. We do the right thing even when it's the hardest thing we could ever do.  When we learn to live this way good things will always come into our lives. 

I have also learned that by not forgiving others we end up hurting ourselves.  I married a man when I was 19 that everyone around me all saw the red signs around me.  Although I had been warned by many I decided that I knew better than the people who loved me and I married him.  He ended up in one month abusing me in every way possible.  I left the night he had tied a rope around my neck. I remember praying to God that night to help me get away and the very next day he heard my prayers and helped me get away.  For years I couldn't forgive this man for everything that had happened. One day I was told that I was holding myself back by not forgiving this man for all he had done to me. I went on my knees that night and told the lord that I didn't know how to forgive but that if this was the will of the lord for me to forgive then he would need to help me.  I heard this voice in my head telling me that I didn't need to forgive on my own. All I needed to do was pray for help to forgive and over night I was able to forgive what I thought was impossible.  By forgiving what I had done was set myself free from my past.  I was able to finally move on with my life.  I will never let him back into my life because I know what he would do but I have given it to the lord.  Now the lord carries this load and I have been set free from what had been holding myself back.  

I testify that the reason that forgiving is a commandment is because the lord wants to see us free and happy. He doesn't want the pain to have power in our lives any longer.  Have they not taken enough from us as it is? Have we not suffered enough? Let it go. Give it to the lord so that you can be set free from the pain of yesterday.