Depression and hope

 Depression is a big bully that loves to lie to each one of us.  Not that long ago I could barely get out of bed let alone do anything with my day. When I say I understand Depression I really do. It had such a grip on me and my life.  I felt like the people I loved would be better without me as a burden in their lives.  They would be better if I wasn't here and so for many years I would get these thoughts that I should just end my life.  After all so many would be better if I wasn't here anymore right? How wrong could I have been! It wasn't till I was in the hospital in the middle of my second divorce that as I lay there barely able to breathe that I realized for the first time how much of a impact I had on so many people.  How many people who would be worse off if I was no longer here to serve and continue to care for them.  The lives i had touched by being me. I'm far from being perfect but for the first time I have come to realize just how important I am and the life I'm meant to live. If you are dealing with this big, ugly bully come to understand a few things.  First the thoughts you are having are not true if they are anything but the fact that you are a child of God who so loved you that he gave his only begotten. Second God has never and never will make junk. Which means that you are important to our heavenly parents. Third if you are having suicidal thoughts please reach out to help. By reaching out you are starting on the path to helping yourself and you should be proud of yourself.  Last of all no matter what you are going through right now know that it does get better with time. God is a God of hope! He wants to give that hope to each one of us.  If you ever need a friend who cares about you and wants to see you defeat this ugly bully in your life please reach out because I want to help.  It's why I'm going to school.  It's why I do this blog and why I want to become a speaker.  I want to help others because without the help I had been given i don't know if I would still be here today. To my friends and family who never gave up on me when I was given in to this bully thank you! Because of you I'm still here today!