We are enough

 I have been struggling with depression the last two weeks now but something I remembered today was that we are enough.  God never expected us to be perfect just try and seek his help when we need it.  Also things do get better with time.  God is a God of miracles.  So when we lose hope,  hopefully we never give up on God. God will never give up on us. So may we never give up on him. 

Where there's faith there's hope

 When you have faith in God and realize that he knows better than you do there will be hope.  When you give God the wheel of your life and your will to God you will come to realize that he gives hope.  When you realize there's hope you will see miracles in your life with time and a little patience.  

Theres beauty all around

 Have you ever just walked outside and thought the sun is shining,  the birds are singing,  the flowers are beautiful,  and it's a great day to be alive.  Have you ever asked yourself how can I feel this way every day? Well the truth is you can if you choose to.  Every day when you wake up find ten things you are grateful for and each hour take ten seconds to find one more thing to be grateful for and try to find something different every hour.  Before you realize it you will be living a grateful life and as you do so I promise your life will turn into a beautiful life.  Doesn't mean that trails won't come into your life but as they do you will find it easier to get through it. 

Give it to the lord

 I have learned that by giving everything to the lord especially my depression has been the only way I have found hope for the future.  The lord wants to carry you but it has to be a choice.  Are we going to make that choice so we can find true happiness? The lord doesn't expect us to be perfect just do the best we can.  The lord already paid the price for everything in this life now we have a choice what are we going to choose?

The b attitudes that gives hope

 Mathew 5

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. 8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. 10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

This made me realize today that God wants to bless us.  He knows the trails that we are going through.  He knows how my heart is breaking right now.  He wants to give hope.  Hope for brighter days,  hope for a better tomorrow,  hope that we will see our loved ones again,  hope that this earth isn't the end,  hope that our dreams will come in the right time for us, hope that with god all things are possible even miracles.  Hope that one day my Heart won't be breaking anymore.Until that day I know that God will carry both of us.  He has promised such if we will only turn our lives and hearts to him. So no matter the trail that you are going through right now know there will always be hope in the savior.  He is the light in this world.  

Forgive yourself and others

 I have come to realize that by forgiving yourself for your short comings is what allows you to move forward in life.  When we beat ourselves instead of forgiving ourselves for our short comings we get stuck in life.  We are to learn, try again,  do better,  but it does nothing but hold ourselves back when we don't forgive ourselves.  God doesn't expect us to be perfect he just expects us to do the best that we can in this life.  In fact part of the plan was for us to fall short. That's why there had to be a savior.  So if this is what God expects then why do we expect ourselves to be perfect? Learn to forgive yourself and give the mercy that the savior gives us so willingly. 

Forgiving others when they have caused so much pain in our lives is honestly the hardest thing that we can ever do so why does the lord expect us to do so? Many times in life doing the right thing is the hardest thing we could ever do.  Why does the lord expect us to do hard things in this life? When I was 12 years old I was raped by a family friend who felt like a grandfather to me. To say that his act changed my life forever is an understatement. I felt like I could never move on with my life and it destroyed me for a time.  When I was 16 he had a heart attack right before being sentenced for his acts against many of his grandchildren. His wife at the time was sitting by herself in the hospital room because none of her children would come.  She was hurting just as much as the rest of us so my father decided he would go to sit with her and be there for her. This was before I came out about what he had done to me.  I decided to go with my father that night not to be there for him but for his wife who had done nothing wrong but who was dying inside and was completely alone.  That night I was able to forgive and move on with my own life because I had done something so hard.  In most cases I wouldn't recommend to go to see someone who would hurt you in such a way but for me it was the right thing.  I remember when I finally came out about what happened to me my father asked why I went with him that night and I told him because it's what the lord would have done.  Living my life the way the savior would is something I have always strived to do. When this becomes our way to live we learn to forgive. We learn how to love,  we learn how to have compassion on the pain others go through in this life.  We learn how the savior feels about us. We learn how to strive for excellence within ourselves. We do the right thing even when it's the hardest thing we could ever do.  When we learn to live this way good things will always come into our lives. 

I have also learned that by not forgiving others we end up hurting ourselves.  I married a man when I was 19 that everyone around me all saw the red signs around me.  Although I had been warned by many I decided that I knew better than the people who loved me and I married him.  He ended up in one month abusing me in every way possible.  I left the night he had tied a rope around my neck. I remember praying to God that night to help me get away and the very next day he heard my prayers and helped me get away.  For years I couldn't forgive this man for everything that had happened. One day I was told that I was holding myself back by not forgiving this man for all he had done to me. I went on my knees that night and told the lord that I didn't know how to forgive but that if this was the will of the lord for me to forgive then he would need to help me.  I heard this voice in my head telling me that I didn't need to forgive on my own. All I needed to do was pray for help to forgive and over night I was able to forgive what I thought was impossible.  By forgiving what I had done was set myself free from my past.  I was able to finally move on with my life.  I will never let him back into my life because I know what he would do but I have given it to the lord.  Now the lord carries this load and I have been set free from what had been holding myself back.  

I testify that the reason that forgiving is a commandment is because the lord wants to see us free and happy. He doesn't want the pain to have power in our lives any longer.  Have they not taken enough from us as it is? Have we not suffered enough? Let it go. Give it to the lord so that you can be set free from the pain of yesterday.  

Stop believing lies

 https://youtu.be/Xdhmgp4IUL0?feature=shared

Don't believe everything that you think.  I have learned that I'm my worst enemy and many of us are. What lies are we feeding ourselves? What lies are holding us back? Now what is it that God wants us to feel? God gave his only begotten because he so loved us. He wants us to forgive ourselves because his son already paid the price for when we fail. He wants us to love ourselves because he loves us.  He wants us to believe in ourselves because by doing so we will bring more of his power not only in our lives but in the lives of those around us.  He wants us to stop holding ourselves back and go for the things we want in this life.  

You are a diamond

 God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten to pay a price that was never his to pay.  God sees the world as imperfect but what will be more glorious than we can imagine.  You are so loved by a loving father and savior that if we had been the only person to live on this earth the savior would have still have loved us so much that he would pay the price for justice to be served so he can give mercy to each one of us.  We become a diamond and our true divine self by going through what we go through in life.  The fires we walk through help us to be more compassionate,  kind hearted,  and more like the savior if we allow them to.  

Failure isn't really Failure

 I have come to realize that you never have failed unless you stop trying until that point you have only found ways to not do something.  So the next time you feel like you have failed think again. Are you still trying? If so you have not failed. So many who have succeeded in life has one thing in common and that is they never stopped trying.  

Keeping ourselves eternal

 Where there's hope and faith you will find miracles.  Sometimes in life we get so focused on the things that are happening that we forget to keep our eyes on the things that are eternal and ever lasting. Our eyes should always be on the savior and many want to. What can we do to do so? How can we keep our eyes on the savior and on the things that really matter? No matter our focus we will always live in a crazy hectic world so how can we slow down just a little? I would say that as we keep our family and ourselves praying,  reading the scriptures,  listening to the prophets words, find the time to stay in shape that we will find the savior more in our lives. The more the savior can be a part of our lives the more we will find the peace we are all looking for in this world.  The savior will help us find the time that we need to get things done. He will carry us as the hard times come.  He will help us know the things we should have in our lives and the things that we should drop out of our lives.  The savior will help us find the happiness and miracles that we all need. Let's all slow down enough that the savior can be in our lives and may we all focus on the things that are eternal and ever lasting. 

Depression and hope

 Depression is a big bully that loves to lie to each one of us.  Not that long ago I could barely get out of bed let alone do anything with my day. When I say I understand Depression I really do. It had such a grip on me and my life.  I felt like the people I loved would be better without me as a burden in their lives.  They would be better if I wasn't here and so for many years I would get these thoughts that I should just end my life.  After all so many would be better if I wasn't here anymore right? How wrong could I have been! It wasn't till I was in the hospital in the middle of my second divorce that as I lay there barely able to breathe that I realized for the first time how much of a impact I had on so many people.  How many people who would be worse off if I was no longer here to serve and continue to care for them.  The lives i had touched by being me. I'm far from being perfect but for the first time I have come to realize just how important I am and the life I'm meant to live. If you are dealing with this big, ugly bully come to understand a few things.  First the thoughts you are having are not true if they are anything but the fact that you are a child of God who so loved you that he gave his only begotten. Second God has never and never will make junk. Which means that you are important to our heavenly parents. Third if you are having suicidal thoughts please reach out to help. By reaching out you are starting on the path to helping yourself and you should be proud of yourself.  Last of all no matter what you are going through right now know that it does get better with time. God is a God of hope! He wants to give that hope to each one of us.  If you ever need a friend who cares about you and wants to see you defeat this ugly bully in your life please reach out because I want to help.  It's why I'm going to school.  It's why I do this blog and why I want to become a speaker.  I want to help others because without the help I had been given i don't know if I would still be here today. To my friends and family who never gave up on me when I was given in to this bully thank you! Because of you I'm still here today!