God's love! He never leaves us!

 For many years I was not only suicidal, but I felt as low as one can feel. I honestly felt like those I loved the most would be better off if I was no longer here. I felt like I had failed at everything that mattered in this life. I felt like I had no worth. It was so easy for me to feel the love that God had for those around me but seeing myself clearly was hard if not impossible to do. I felt like God had abandoned me no matter how hard I tried to live the gospel I felt like I wasn’t measuring up. I felt so lost and alone.

Then I met a man who changed my life just a few months after my second divorce was final. I have been able to see that God by putting us together wasn’t saving just one soul but two. As he felt like he was too far gone and there was no hope in this world. I remember the day that I met him he wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. He kept pushing me away, but this voice told me that God had sent me into his life for a reason and that reason would soon be unveiled in the lord’s timing. Being in another relationship right after my divorce was honestly the last thing that I really wanted. I was ready to date, but not to truly fall in love least of all to the love of my life. Thankfully God’s timing has always been perfect and always be. He gave me the strength to keep going even when all I wanted was to break up and move back to Utah. Jerome during this time was also struggling with giving up his lifestyle and many addictions. It was honestly a hard time all around.

Then the month of January came around and this amazing man started to help me realize who I really was. That I am a daughter of God who has always been amazing just like I am. I am far from perfect but to God I have always been enough and he saw how much I have always loved him. How hard many of my trails had been for me. God had never left my side I just didn’t feel him around me. God had saw the many lives I had touched when I was dying inside feeling worthless. God saw the many nights that I had wished no longer to be here on earth and just wanted to wither away so I could stop being a burden. God had saw the many nights that I had wet my pillows with my tears the nights I felt more alone than I can ever explain. He saw the mistakes I had made and how truly sorry I had been. He saw how badly I wanted to be perfect and never measuring up to what I expected of myself. He saw all the times I had given up on the things that I had wanted in life because I didn’t believe I had the power to do those things that I had wanted.

Jerome helped me see the amazing women I had always been. He helped me realize that I had the power to truly become happy with the help of the Lord. That I am truly a daughter of God who had this power, strength, faith, determination that I had never seen before. I came to realize for the first time in my life that the right person brings out the best in you. They help you believe in yourself. They care about your happiness and success in life. In fact, I remember one night Jerome told me that if I dropped out of school, he would leave me because the women he would stay with would follow her dreams and heart to the life that she wanted. There have been so many times where the words Jerome would speak to me I knew came from God directly that was really the first time I felt such a thing. It gave me the push that I personally needed and this semester although I have had many challenges in school first with getting my textbooks and then becoming sick and hospitalized, I have had this drive that I could still do this thing called school even with being three weeks behind in my classes. I have felt the help of God in ways I will never be able to explain fully.

When I was hospitalized, I received a beautiful blessing and it not only promised me a speedy recovery which I have seen as usual when I get sick it will take me months to fully recover and yet its only been a week and I already feel so much better. It talked about having faith in the Lord for his blessings to come to pass. It also talked about those who were on the other side of the veil. I felt my ancestors many times while I was in the hospital and one of the times was when the medical staff came into the room to draw blood which had been causing my anxiety to go though the rough and Jerome was not there as he had stepped out to get something to eat so I was by myself. I felt somebody take my hand that I didn’t see and whisper to me that she was here, and it was my grandmother Betty. I felt this presence on the other side of me and heard my grandmother Mary’s voice tell me that she was proud of me and always had been. Both told me that I wasn’t by myself, and God had sent them to help me not only conquer this but the other trails that were in my life. I never saw them, but I know that they were in the room with me and helped me be able to conquer getting my blood drawn. I have also felt their strength this past week, helping me be able to catch up in all my classes and not need nearly as much sleep as I normally do to function when I should have needed more rest and sleep, I somehow needed less. This has taught me that we are never alone, those who have passed before are really on the other side helping us though our trails in this life. They are always fully away from us and will be on our side at all times so long as we keep our eyes on the Lord and them who have gone before. The things that are important to us are important to the Lord and always will be.

May we always remember the times that God has not left us on our own to deal with the hard times of this life. He sends angels both on this earth as well as those on the other side we just need to open our eyes to see and feel them.

Walk with God!

 Walk with God

As we are about to start another year may we think about how we can walk with God. We are all maxed out so how can we pour water into others the way Christ pours life into us if we allow him to? How can we love, forgive, understand, and have true understanding for another? How can we be friends to our enemies and see them as children of God’s?

Many times in life we feel like we have nothing to give. Other times we feel like they who have hurt us don’t deserve forgiveness or we can’t overlook another’s past. When we do this we not only put limits on us but we put limits on others. Are we not all children of God’s trying to do the best we can in this life. Do we not all need to be forgiven and remembered? We all need friends and we can only gain true friendships by first being a friend.

You want a year that will not only change you but you will remember forever? Then get to work! Lead others to Christ by them knowing you. Let’s define what it looks like to know Christ. To really know Christ we have to love others the way he loves us. That means instead of finding reasons to judge find reasons to love. We all need to love and to be loved.

We all have the power to change this world by allowing Christ more in this world and it starts with us. So stop being so afraid of the Devine in us and allow our light to shine in this dark world! The world needs us to shine because the world needs the savior more than ever before. The world can be a dark place but it will become brighter as we allow our light to shine by simply loving others and loving the amazing person we are!

Allow this year to be the year we stop playing small and allow ourselves to be the light and rock others can relay on! We all have more power than we ever imagined possible!

If you are struggling loving the amazing person you are then do the work to see yourself clearly. We are children of God’s who will become brighter, powerful, and more knowledgeable than we ever imagined possible! One day so long as we make the right choices we will become a God or goddess. Start to realize that and how much God trusts and loves us. If a god loves us then we need to learn to love the amazing person we are! Stop playing small and allow yourself to shine this year!

Season of miracles!

 Do we really remember the reason behind this season? How many times this past year has the Lord given each of us miracles that we can't explain in any other way? The savior was born for each one of us. The day before Christmas can we all take a minute to remember the reason of tomorrow. What tomorrow means. To me Christmas reminds me no matter how alone I may feel I'm never alone. No matter how I may feel like I can't do something I always can so long as I have the savior in my life helping me. It reminds me that the savior is still alive and because of that no matter how I may be feeling today tomorrow will always hold promise and all will never be lost. Miracles still happen today thanks to the Lord. So many blessings that I never imagined possible happen thanks to the Lord. 

May we give him the gifts he's already given to us. May we give him our hearts, time in service to his children, forgiveness for those who have wronged us. A heart that wants the best for all around us, especially for those who have hurt us. A willing heart to go through anything the Lord or others throw our way. A heart that is full of gratitude for all the good Lord has given to us. A heart that remembers the many miracles that have happened to us. 

This year for me is full of gratitude and hope and I want to personally thank my heavenly father and brother who gave his life for me personally. This year I have seen miracles I never imagined possible! I have seen my brother turn himself in so that he can have a fresh start to a better life for him. I have seen the man I'm in love with turn his heart and life towards the savior. I now have hope that although today may be hard that the future holds promise. I have seen my heart Start to slowly heal. So no matter what you may be going through today may you always remember thanks to tomorrow that there's always hope for tomorrow. Thank you Lord for giving us your life and always carrying us through this life. I want the world to know that I Brittany Ann Gotberg love my savior so much and I give my heart to him! 

God love never gives up!

 Christ doesn’t give up, no matter the price

Something I learned the other day was Christ like love doesn’t give up no matter the price. It sees the good in a person. It looks for the good in a person no matter how hard it might be to do so. After all Don’t we all have the desire to be understood, loved, and appreciated for all that we do?

Many times all we see is what we are doing and going through. How many times do we look outside of ourselves to truly think about others? When we get outside of ourselves we find it easy to love others. Loving others is about them and not you.

When we are in relationships with another it should be about them and not us. Why do you think being in a healthy relationship is so hard? My mom the other day taught me that how we know that something is important and worthwhile is if it’s hard.

As I have been in a new, wonderful, and healthy relationship I’m learning that I am the only one who can change. I have to be willing to allow myself to become more understanding, more loving, more compassionate, more willing to look outside of myself.

What I have gained is everything! I have gained a relationship where I’m not too much. I’m enough as I am. I’m getting closer to God by being with Jerome. I’m loved and he's always doing better in learning how I need to be loved. He asks questions to understand why I feel what I do. He’s teaching me to think about others and less about myself. To be honest with my feelings, to think about what I want in life, to think more positive than I usually do.

Is the relationship hard? Yes it is, but I am learning how to be more Christ like in all areas of my life. God never gives up on us. He’s always forgiving no matter how hard we fall so long as we repent and do better. I’m so grateful for the lessons that I have been learning from being in this relationship and hopefully I’m becoming more Christ like and loving from where I am in life.

If we as society would learn how to always be doing better, be more forgiving and accepting, be more loving we would have less broken families and marriages. After all we all fail at times. No body is perfect and it's by work and understanding that we can be doing better. 

I hope you dance

 As Christmas drawers closer I have been thinking about this year. How hard and amazing it’s been. How much I have overcome to become this amazing person that I am today. I have been thinking about everything I have been blessed with. How I can use my gifts and talents to bless the lives of those I love.

This is the week of finals so I have been thinking about who I was at the beginning of the semester and who I am at the end. At the beginning of the semester, I was struggling with understanding my purpose in life. Who am I and what value does my life have? I felt so alone and honestly was struggling with getting in the grove of being back at school after more than a decade of being out. By the middle of the semester, I wanted to drop out of school and honestly felt like I was failing so why continue? At the middle of the semester, I had my first at fault accident that totaled my car so that was hard to deal with not having a car again as well. At the beginning of the semester, I was single and wanted to leave Texas to move back to Utah where I felt like home was.

At the end of the semester, I look back and I am so grateful for this opportunity I have had to be able to go back to school. I am so grateful that my boyfriend talked me into staying in school and following my dreams in life. I am so grateful that I have learned who I am this semester. I am a daughter of God who has more possibilities that I never imagined possible. I have this drive and motivation to help those around me in all areas of my life. I have been able to see that I never failed instead I was becoming a strong, faithful, and determined person all my life. God had never left me, and he never will so long as I don’t leave his side. I am grateful that I learned to ask for help when in need instead of trying to do it on my own, because there will always be people who want to help. If you don’t ask for help, then you will stay stuck and you will fail because nobody can do everything on their own. We all stand in need of help from time to time. At the same time do what you can on your own. Believe in yourself and that you can do hard things. At the end of the semester, I am not alone anymore. I am beginning to see a future in which I can finally have roots planted again in my life. I don’t see myself leaving Texas anymore. I see a future in which the pain from the past no longer must hold me back instead it can be building blocks towards a great life. I am falling more in love by the day and I’m so grateful to a loving father who has always been leading my life towards this day.

Yesterday was my last day in my favorite class of the semester, my psychology class. In class she played “I Hope You Dance.” She talked about how when she was in her first year of her master’s program she wanted to drop out until she heard this song. She was also feeling suicidal and much of the way I felt most of this semester. When she heard this song, it reminded her that she had to dance her way though her masters and she could if she made the choice to do so no matter how hard it got. To never take a breath for granted. It was soon after this that things in her life started to get better and she did finish her masters.

Learn to set your dreams and goals high. Learn to Dream. Believe in yourself. Remember whose you are. You are a child of God’s. You will become a God or Goddess one day. Do we really understand this? Do we understand why we are here? Do we understand that it’s in the trying times that we become the best version of ourselves? Do we understand that trails are needed in order for our eternal happiness? Do we understand that God wants us to be happy?

Don’t ever settle in life in any area. Don’t take a single day for granted. Learn to dance and never give up no matter how hard it becomes. After all, my sweet mother always taught me that anything worth anything will be hard. So, if something is hard look at what is this teaching and at the end of the day will this help us learn to become a God or Goddess. We all make a difference in this world for good or bad so what are you going to choose today?

Happiness is a choice we must all make. Although sometimes it’s the hardest choice we will ever make. Happiness, I have learned is having gratitude. You can have depression like I suffer from and still be happy. How is this possible? Our happiness and joy need to come from the savior. Only he can help us make the choice to be happy despite the trails and hardships we deal with in this life. Happiness is a choice we make each day, sometimes a choice we make by the minute. Happiness is not having a perfect life or not having hard times. Happiness is gratitude. Looking at our lives and being grateful for the things we do have. Remembering that we matter. Our lives have purpose and meaning. Happiness is work and many times is the hardest thing we can do in this life. So if you are looking for happiness look at the things you have been blessed with. Make the choice to ask God for help in being happy. If we look, seek, ask, work for, and open the door we will become happy with time that I do promise. Happiness does not take away the mental health problems we deal with, but it does help us overcome them. God wants happiness for all his children and that includes you! So, dance your way through life, choose to be happy and never take a single breath for granted.

What are gifts we can give to God?

 As Christmas drawers closer I have been thinking about how I can help make this Christmas different and better. What are the things I can give to the Lord this Christmas season? Some of the things I have come to are my time in service to those around me. After all God says whatever we do for the least among us is what we do for God so let's see who we can serve. Second our talents. We all have different gifts and talents so how can we use them to bless the lives around us? How can we use them to give glory to God? Third thing I found is find one person who you have had a hard time forgiving and be the bigger person and forgive them no matter how hard it might be to do so. Fourth find a loved one who is struggling this season and do something for them that costs no money but they will never forget. As we put the Lord the center of our thoughts and lives we will make this season one that will never be forgotten no matter how much we are struggling money wise. After all money doesn't buy happiness and never will. So what will buy happiness? Our time, service, forgiveness, and talents will buy not only our happiness, but the happiness of those around us. May the Lord bless this season for all of us. If you have any ideas please share! 

We always have something to share

 I have been struggling with life and feeling so overwhelmed that I thought why do a blog. I woke up at two in the morning and the thought that came to my mind is to share that we always have something to share with others around us. When we are feeling overwhelmed with life. When we are depressed, or grieving. When we are simply struggling in our lives how many times do we wonder do we even make a difference? Do we have anything to help others around us? Do we have anything in us to offer the world? 

The answers are yes we always have something to offer this world! When we are struggling and yet still smile at a person we are making a difference in the world. When we go out of our way to say hello to the person passing us on our walk we just made a difference. When we give a person a hug we just filled a person up who might be struggling themselves. When we keep fighting to stay on earth we are making a difference just by staying. When we call a friend or family when we are dying inside we are making a difference in their life. When we keep pushing ourselves in our family, career, or school we are making this world a better place for everyone. 

Satan loves to feel us with his lies that when we are struggling we have nothing to offer but that's simply not true. Many times this life is hard and trying but we always have something to offer those around us. All we have to do is offer the light in us to this world and let others know it's ok to not always be ok. After all there's nothing to feel ashamed about when life is getting to us. In fact in admitting that life is hard we are allowing others to do likewise. We are allowing others to realize that the very reason we will always have something to share is because of the savior and all he has done for each one of us. So yes it is ok to admit life is hard and you are doing the best you can in a trying time. Don't allow Satan to lie to you when life is getting to you that you have nothing to offer, after all it's by the small and simple things in life that great things are brought to pass. It's in our trying times we grow and have the most to give simply by being ourselves and not giving up!